Six months had past when M. asked: "is it out of your system yet?" She asked in Farsi where pronouns are gender neutral. She had meant "he." The answer was "no."
In the yoga teacher training course that I took shortly after, I learned two important things: do not hyper-extend, and: the goal of yoga is to tune our inner vibrations with that of the outside. This is to regulate our emotions and energies, and to prepare for meditation. The way to bliss or being content starts with the physical goes through the mental (the mind) and ends up at the spiritual.
The heart breaks, but its home is the body, an organic entity that shares all the physical and quantum characteristics of any other organism. A web of nerves, veins, cartilages, muscles and more all intertwined in a give-and-take relationship. The heart breaks, but the way to heal it ends up starting from the physical through the mind and to the spiritual.
Physically you have to attune yourself to the void created by the departure of the person, you have to change your surrounding in order to minimize the cues that will tell your brain something is gone or is missing; you have to get rid of all reminders and memorabilia. Then as inevitably you are faced with withdrawal, guilt, over-analysis, sadness and anxieties, you will have to resort to the exercises that deal with the mind (meditation, compassionate concentration, etc.).
Suffering is the act of non acceptance. With these tools in hand and with the best catalyst of dealing with any kind of loss, TIME, once you are physically and mentally stronger, you can accept what is and move out of the imbalance and into a spiritual acceptance of what is.
The pain created from the shock of loss is so filling that there is no way to move beyond it than "ejecting it from our system." M. knew what she was talking about and it was only after I had room for love (after months of doing these exercises daily) that I understood what she was saying and how "physical" the experience of loss and especially heartbreak was.
There is one thing that is certain in life and that is 'change.' It all comes down to how to ride the waves of change.
The more in tune and accepting of the shocks and waves one gets, the softer the landing will be....
and being patient of course...
and being optimistic that this is not forever...
and being kind and soft on oneself....
and remembering that things always change...
and knowing that humans are stronger than they think they are....
and believing that it will all be fine at the end, and if it is not fine, it is not the end yet.
In the yoga teacher training course that I took shortly after, I learned two important things: do not hyper-extend, and: the goal of yoga is to tune our inner vibrations with that of the outside. This is to regulate our emotions and energies, and to prepare for meditation. The way to bliss or being content starts with the physical goes through the mental (the mind) and ends up at the spiritual.
The heart breaks, but its home is the body, an organic entity that shares all the physical and quantum characteristics of any other organism. A web of nerves, veins, cartilages, muscles and more all intertwined in a give-and-take relationship. The heart breaks, but the way to heal it ends up starting from the physical through the mind and to the spiritual.
Physically you have to attune yourself to the void created by the departure of the person, you have to change your surrounding in order to minimize the cues that will tell your brain something is gone or is missing; you have to get rid of all reminders and memorabilia. Then as inevitably you are faced with withdrawal, guilt, over-analysis, sadness and anxieties, you will have to resort to the exercises that deal with the mind (meditation, compassionate concentration, etc.).
Suffering is the act of non acceptance. With these tools in hand and with the best catalyst of dealing with any kind of loss, TIME, once you are physically and mentally stronger, you can accept what is and move out of the imbalance and into a spiritual acceptance of what is.
The pain created from the shock of loss is so filling that there is no way to move beyond it than "ejecting it from our system." M. knew what she was talking about and it was only after I had room for love (after months of doing these exercises daily) that I understood what she was saying and how "physical" the experience of loss and especially heartbreak was.
There is one thing that is certain in life and that is 'change.' It all comes down to how to ride the waves of change.
The more in tune and accepting of the shocks and waves one gets, the softer the landing will be....
and being patient of course...
and being optimistic that this is not forever...
and being kind and soft on oneself....
and remembering that things always change...
and knowing that humans are stronger than they think they are....
and believing that it will all be fine at the end, and if it is not fine, it is not the end yet.
*****
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